Tips to help you care for your loved one

Being a caregiver is an important job. As your loved one’s #1 advocate, you play an important role in how they cope with and treat their illness. When that person is older, there are often other considerations that impact the decisions you help them make.

What to keep in mind when caring for older adults

Older adults with cancer often have one or more chronic conditions they are dealing with, in addition to cancer, which may result in both physical and emotional limitations. These other conditions can factor into how a doctor makes a decision on which treatment to recommend, which can have additional effects on the health and well-being of your loved one. It can be difficult to find the right balance between a treatment that works well and a treatment that causes the fewest side effects when you factor in other conditions your loved one may have.

Research has also shown that some older adults with cancer have trouble talking with their medical teams. And lack of a strong support system or trouble understanding treatment plans can make a bad situation worse for these adults. To help work through these challenges, caregivers can use the tips below.

Helpful checklists for caregivers

Checklists can help you make the most of your doctor visit and ensure the best care for your loved one. Take a look at the checklists below to help you with this process: 

  • Prepare for the appointment: Appointments can go by quickly, so it’s helpful to bring a notepad or tablet for notetaking. 
  • Create an emergency plan: Emergencies can happen, and they’re almost always unexpected. 
  • Make sure your loved one understands their treatment: It’s important your loved one understands and feels comfortable with their treatment. 
  • Understand your loved one’s mental health: These may be some of the hardest days of your loved one’s life. Help them find joy and face this battle with a more positive mindset. 

Take care of yourself

Being a caregiver comes with its own challenges, and sometimes you might feel like it’s too much to handle. You may feel angry, frustrated, alone or sad. But taking care of yourself and your own well-being is one of the most important things you can do for the person you care for. Do your best to remember to:

  • Accept help. If somebody offers help, take it. Do you have a dog that needs walking or a child that needs to be picked up from school? Think of ways others can help when the offer is made
  • Be realistic. There’s no such thing as a “perfect” caregiver; you are doing the best you can. Focus on what you can provide instead of what you can’t.
  • Find social time. It’s important to keep up social connections with other adults. Time with friends can help you recharge and find encouragement. Connecting with a support group or a therapist can help you through tough situations.  
  • Maintain your own health. Set health goals and make an effort to be active most days of the week.
  • Disconnect. Take a few minutes to simply be alone and to breathe each day. Just a few minutes of quiet time can shift your mood to give you a more positive outlook.

Despite its challenges, being a caregiver can also be very rewarding. It allows you to positively impact your loved one’s life.

Here are some additional resources for more information about being a caregiver and finding support.

Additional resources

ByYourSide app: A free app to help manage life with cancer. This app helps to:

  • Build a network of support and easily update loved ones
  • Track mood and pain, and record sleep and steps
  • Send or receive requests for help with tasks
  • Remember important information from doctors’ visits and stay organized, all in one place
  • Build a circle of support

PP-ONC-GBR-2046 / August 2022